Core Weakness and Emotional Strength

I just figured out why everybody hates working their core muscles, and how you can rethink that emotion to get through it. Shit, folks, for an antisocial prick, I have an EQ that’s off the charts. We don’t hate the NOTION of core work, mind you; in the back of their minds, I think most…

Disaster Fitness Paperback EIGHT DOLLARS NOW.

How’s that for a clickbait headline? Kinda sucks, right? How many keywords do I need in this first graf? If I give Google my firstborn child, can I improve my search results? Most important, Amazon didn’t decide my book is too obscene or mean, so youse can buy it now, in paperback in addition to the…

A Shit Week and My Punching Bag

This was not my favorite week with humans. I’ve been called a whore, a rapist, and a libelist out of sheer sour grapes… all while being blackmailed. And that was just Monday. A couple of years ago, I would have headed for the bar the minute I got done with work. If I could afford…

“Health Goth” Was Stillborn, but Let’s Make It Undead!

I hereby propose to you Hedonia’s Law, which states: To any Internet law there is an infinite number of possible addenda. I came up with this one because I just now discovered the subcultural addendum to Law 34 (“If it exists, there’s porn of it”). Hedonia’s Addendum to law 34 is: Stick any random word…

Do and Enjoy: a Daily Balance

The key to being happy and healthy is to keep your habits consistent day after day, as you will learn in greater detail when my book Disaster Fitness, the Traumatized Child’s Hot Body Guide, comes out in a couple of weeks. If you work out every day with no questions asked—or if you take one…

The Gym Is Dead, Part III: Everyone’s Shitty Attitude Will Poison You

As I predicted earlier in this series, the gym is on its way out. “But wait,” you say; “I will miss the camaraderie!” Oh, really? You’ll miss all the whining jerks who are dragging you down? One of the very worst things about the gym is the culture of commiseration. Over and over, to show […]

The Gym Is Dead, Part One: They Take Your Money

I predict that fitness gyms as we know them will more or less die out in the next decade. Back when they were the only game in town when it came to getting a stranger to yell at you to exercise, they could afford to have a few flaws. But now that the Internet can do…

Welcome to Your Disaster!

As shallow as it may sound, be honest: looking great makes it easier to hold your head above the shit.