When you begin to deal with your emotional shit—which is the number one way to deal with the things that keeps you from getting in shape, if you’re wondering how this post relates to fitness—the biggest hump to get over is the feeling that if you have to do the work, if you have to be honest with yourself, it means you’re somehow admitting you did all this shit to yourself.
I remember when I first began cognitive-behavioral therapy, it was hard to take responsibility for my own shit because it felt like taking the blame. It’s too bad those words have been semantically muddled into each other: responsibility… blame. But what taking responsibility really means is taking the reins into your own hands.
I spent years half-consciously thinking that the only way to feel better was to have everyone who’d wronged me apologize, and somehow fix it for me. HOW WOULD THEY DO THAT, PAST ME, YOU DUMBASS?
No matter the absolute degree to which somebody else is responsible for the scars on your brain, they’re not going to fix it.
They won’t want to fix it.
They won’t admit they broke it.
And even if they did, it would do you surprisingly little good.
Unfortunately but fortunately, YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON WHO CAN FIX YOU.
It’s unfortunate because, god dammit, why should you have to do all this work because someone else fucked up? It’s not fair.
But taking things into your own hands is NOT an admission of guilt.
It is the only thing you can do. Because you’re the only person who can fix it. Nothing and nobody except you and your own work, and maybe a good cognitive-behavioral therapist (or whatever works for you) can help.
Oh wait… there’s one more thing. And it’s only $5 on Kindle, $8 paperback!
But you know what the book is full of? Instructions on how to talk you into doing it yourself.
‘Cause the only way to yourself is through yourself. It’s very unfortunate that this sentence rhymes; try to ignore that. Unlike most bullshit catchy rhymes, it is actually true.
You can probably guess by this point what the fortunate part is: You don’t have to rely on anyone but yourself. Once you get some good advice—like that in Disaster Fitness, f’rinstance—it’s all you. It’s hard, but it is ALL under your own control. I wish someone had said these words to me long, long ago. Once you grasp this idea for real, you are halfway to feeling better.